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The Casual Ramble Sept. 16, 2026
I can hardly believe my life sometimes.
What’s the old saying?
“There are decades when nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.”
Well, Lenin never said that. However, the poet Homero Aridjis did once write “Hay siglos ne los que no pasa nada / y anos en los que pasan siglos.”
Freely translated: “There are centuries where nothing happens / and years where centuries happen.”
Such is how I have felt over the past summer. I have seen more weddings, funerals & festivals than I can remember having ever done. I have written more poems than I can remember ever having written. And I am more exhausted than I can remember ever having been.
I am, nevertheless, standing on the precipice of my first poetry collection’s publishing date, Sept. 24, & slowly recovering from my first ever time attending Kindle, the Pacific Northwest’s premiere flow arts festival. In short, thank God for pineapples.
Going long, however, thank you to all the people who made this weekend such a special event. To all my friends who helped me find a last minute ticket & parking pass. To Clover for being an awesome road trip buddy. To Chief Onepaw for the extra tent when it seemed I was was shit out of luck. To Dank & Tango for helping me find a space for the papasan. To Oliver, Carson & everyone else mad enough to help me set up the pasta stand. To Sun & Adam for their brilliant serving of the pasta as airline stewards. To Lisa & the fire circle crew for allowing me to set it up in the first place. To everyone who lined up for a serving on either night. To Leelah & Zak for their company in the mornings as I cleaned up after the madness. And to the organizers who were so supportive in getting me to the right people with the right questions–chiefly, my friends Squigglefloof, Dairy & Jacquie.
But that’s not all.
I cannot even begin to express how lucky I am to be among so many awesome tribes of insanely creative people. From Casey, Daniel & Carson (again) with our golfing shenanigans on the beach to the Boise Flow Dojo with our bizarre toys. From the Cats in Space crew with the amazing electronic music sets ranging from techno to drum n’ bass to ambient sunrises to my local renegade fire friends & co-hosts who helped to remind me that this weekend would not be nearly as special if I didn’t take time to slow down & just enjoy the moment of spinning in the woods all night long. I had so many great conversations with my flowmies, new & old, including Mr. Knots, Dr. Koa, Max, Hipps, James, Bee, Hammy, Brooklyn, Austin, Katrin & more. Also, because I forgot, a huge shoutout to my buddy Charlie for transporting one half of my gear to the fire circle & Mellie for being such a fun driver as we rode down in the shuttle. And this is all goes without saying thank you to all the amazing performers at the Gala as well as the instructors with the incredible selection of workshops. In particular, I have to highlight Marlen Hazel & Brecken for their willingness to share such brilliant tips & pointers on neck traps/footwork & floorwork, respectively.
[Editor’s Note: How dare I forget Dairy for his hilarious & gratifying Lego Firewalk class as well! Best comedy workshop ever.]
If I had to pick one high out of all highs, however, I don’t think I could. So I am going to give three.
The first is one I have already mentioned in passing: golf. I have never had as much fun as with one bit than I did Casey, Carson & Daniel playing a pantomime “Kindle Open” out on the beach during the early hours of Saturday morning. I am sad I missed our round out in the Fire Circle, but I look forward to collaborating with these crazy cats for next year. I won’t reveal anything yet, but I will say we have already reeled in the idea.
The second has to be Sunday morning itself. All the small encounters were simply wonderful as I roamed the perimeter sharing my poetry, cooking s’mores & taking time to chat with my friends, as well as making new ones with fellow poets Chana Hoops & Sautrah. The highlight of the highlight, however, had to be when my friends Gattaca & Clover took this dog on a walk with his new collar & big ol’ bone. I believe my prompt for the bit was “lesbian dog moms take their pup for a morning stroll before loading up the Subaru.” This ol’ mutt did not expect to get caught in a game of tug o’ staff with one his moms, though!
Lastly, but certainly not least, I would have to say the crowning highlight of my weekend came in the form of another kind of walk. A firewalk.
I have long wanted to do a firewalk since first having the opportunity at Fire Drums 2023 & declining. I regretted the decision in the immediate aftermath but had since come to the conclusion that the timing just wasn’t right. That I wasn’t ready nor that I had the right with which to cross a threshold of hot fucking coals. Nor did I feel I had the right guide at the time.
Three years later, much has changed. I am more confident in my abilities as a fire dancer, a poet & a person. I have survived the loss of family, confidence & gainful employment. I have experienced the depths of existential depression & the crests of ecstatic joy. I am no longer asking questions who I am or who I need to be. I am no longer confused as to why or form I am writing. And when I walked myself down to the Fire Circle for [the] fire walk with my disclaimer already signed & my intention already clearly in mind, I knew I had the right guide.
To that end, I want to thank Tyler Spades. He has long been a leading member in the Portland flow arts community & we have become acquainted with each other largely in passing. At the core of it, he truly is a staff spinning virtuoso & an inspiration/influence to my own development as a flow artist. In the moment I saw him leading the firewalk, instantly I knew he would be the perfect. And he was, perfectly explaining the significance of crossing a path of hot fucking coals with nothing but a big smile across his face. What a guy. He made me want to cross twice.
The second time I even told him: I want fresh coals. Yes, it hurt.
Later that weekend, I explained to him why: the first time I crossed the coals were going low & I crossed for the person I was before this year. I knew that person & while that person certainly experience their fair share of pain, the sting had mostly receded.
The second time I crossed, I did so for the person I wanted to become. I have a somewhat solid picture of who this person is. But I know becoming this person is probably going to hurt in ways I can’t expect, even if ask for the hot [fucking] coals. Best I can do is keep walking forward, washing my feet in the cool water when I need, even as the weeks pass in decades & the decades pass in weeks.
I have my guides, I have my poems, I have my friends. I have all I need. Onward to Kindle 2027, like this year but even better,
–The Casual Rambler
P.S. I forgot! Thank you to my friend Ben Ruch for recording my first walk & my friend Tango for lending a phone mine so inopportunely died. C’est la vie [& they made it for me].
Thanks again to my lovely Patrons: Jenny, Roshi, Chloe, Christy, Carson, Zero & Phil, as well as all my Casual Ramblers for your support. If you would like to join the Casual Ramble for early access to poems, short films & the like, subscribe via the link below!
The Casual Ramble 