The fugue state continues, but we move. I’ve been fretting about the fact that I’m not writing much. Panicking that what I have been writing has been in my journal, but not for anyone else.
That’s no crime, mind you. In fact, writing journal entries has done the most to help me self-regulate. But I wrote on my first blog after Oregon Country Fair that I had three different pieces I was working on and then… nothing. The attention for them petered out before I could hit publish.
Such is the life of attention deficit disorders.
And yet, I wonder. I wonder if it’s not just some chronic fatigue. I wonder if it’s a message from my body that I did not pace myself very well during the past few months. And I wonder if I have been killing the messenger not by pen or sword, but something more sinister.
I just left the messenger on ignore and retired to lick my wounds, retreated to my inner self. Then, as I was pondering on one of the many projects I want to do, I was struck by a sudden desire to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X.
I have no idea why it happened. It just happened. A musical trigger where in an instant, the mere thought of a song primes the entire body with a need to listen to it. This sensation goes beyond an earworm, it whets an appetite that cannot be sated by any tastebud and it transforms melody, rhythm and percussion from simple pleasures to psychological requirements.
So it was with Lil Nas X, who jarred me awake with a message, and I quote, “Ain’t nobody can’t tell me nothing.”
Nope. Not unless my body wants it to be told, and that’s where we at now. The message is now coming from inside the house and it is asking, “What gives? Where’s the stuff, man? At some point, the writing has to happen, so what is the plan?”
Well, I just published a Casual Poetry drop yesterday. I have a Casual Camera planned for publish on Patreon tomorrow. Both of these will be published next Tuesday and Thursday on the blog respectively, but if you want the early access plus an exclusive Patron only poem, Patreon is where to go for it.
These are make ups for July, though, which means that another round of early access poetry and photography will be published next week for August on Patreon as well, before they are released on the blog in the following fourth week of August.
That right there is literally eight posts, not counting the Trail Blazers’ stuff I want to write about (seriously, they just found a reported buyer for the team) but due to a slew of life changes and other activities, just couldn’t find the time to move the thoughts from paper and pen to a keyboard.
And then on top of that, we have the sci-fi stories that are coming along, which brings us back to “Old Town Road.”
My attention had been on a generation ship story idea as of late, but damn if that song didn’t just trigger psychological needs but also behaviors. My attention was shook with a sudden desire to switch tack to another story about a gunslinging android cowboy with six arms and a bullet in each hand. A literal walking six-shooter.
So I’m hoping to publish a short story based around that, with early access going to Patrons.
In between all of this, we have to ask where does the blog fit into all of this? The answer right is that it doesn’t and were I to try and blog every day, I would probably die. I have a solution in mind for that. I just need time to execute it. Until then, I promise I got horses in the back.
Now watch me saddle up and ride again.
Thank you to my Patreon subscribers, including Jenny, Michael, Roshi, Zero and Phil for being such patient and supportive persons. Your support makes this enterprise possible and for that I am eternally grateful. If you would like to join our awesome group of Casual Ramblers, click on the button below! Patrons receive exclusive access to quarterly short stories, and early access to my monthly poetry and photography posts.